Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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