READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I did not marry a roomba.
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