Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
