my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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