I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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