apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
