so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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