p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?