Don't you send me to vm
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We left an ass print on the piano.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
