i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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