I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
