I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
