Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college