So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
