I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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