i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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