I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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