I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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