Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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