i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
