I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize