drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
