oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
