Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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