I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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