She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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