The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
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I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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