i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
