if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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