It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
