good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
