i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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