I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
