i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
