His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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