how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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