she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
