I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
