i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
