Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize