I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
