I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I bet he comes in French.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
