its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
