There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
