i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im having a threesome with these popsicles
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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