No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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