I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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