is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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