yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
