You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
