he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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