If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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