i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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