Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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