3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
