Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize