singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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