When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
