I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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