WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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