You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
