somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
