You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You made out with two different species that night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
