I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
