That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
