I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
