am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
