Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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