you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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