I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
