I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
